Why Introverts Don’t Ask For Help


Introverts don’t like to ask for help, and seldom do. Here are four reasons why:

  1. Introverts don’t want to call attention to themselves. Think about it—if an introvert asking for help with something, they then become the center of attention. And introverts HATE being the center of attention.
  • Asking for help means initiating a request.  Most introverts would prefer not to initiate.

Although many introverts are fine with responding when others initiate, they would rather not have to be the one to make the first move.

  • Introverts are used to working or doing things independently. It’s no surprise that introverts prefer working, doing things, and being alone. Asking for help is contrary to their preferred style. Even in a team environment, they prefer to go off and do their part of team’s tasks independently. Therefore, they convince themselves they will figure out on their own.
  • Past rejection. Of course. NOBODY likes to be rejected, whether introverted or extroverted; however, past rejections can hold more weight for introverts. Whereas extroverts may have forgotten or at least minimized past rejections, introverts tend to overthink, so they can be more emotionally influenced by past rejections.

Why Introverts should ask for help: Introverts should realize it is against their natural wiring to ask for help, however, asking for help is a sign of confidence rather than weakness. Consider the “Helper’s High”, a concept which arose in the 1980s, and has been confirmed in various studies since then. This concept consists of positive emotions following selfless service to others. Therefore, the introvert should know that others can gain a “high” from helping them.

How to help introverts: Extroverts should remember that they will most likely have to take the initiative to offer the introvert help. Asking the broad question, “Do you need help with anything?” most likely will be met with a quick reply of “no, thanks.” The best way to do this is to ask, “what is one thing that you need help with?” And give the introvert time to respond.

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