Apologizing is a kind gesture; however, there are certain things you should never apologize for, and yet so often we do! Here are five things that need no apology, and what you can say in response instead:
- When you know you need to say ‘no’ to protect your time, boundaries, finances, or sometimes your overall well-being or preferences!
For instance, if someone extends an invitation to you and you really do not want to go or you already have a busy schedule, you can be kind in response without an apology. Simply respond by saying, “thank you!” Thank them for thinking of you, and let them know your schedule is full and that it is better that you don’t accept.
If someone asks a favor such as a loan or if they can stay at your house for an extended period of time, you can express empathy by saying, “that has got to be really tough for you, however, I am not able to help you out with that.”
Scott Adams, author of the New York Times Bestseller, “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big” states that you can relay to others that you have a “personal rule”, such as a personal rule that you never loan money. By saying that you have a personal rule, it removes it feeling like a personal rejection to the other person.
- Your deeply held beliefs and values
You should never apologize for your deeply held beliefs and values. These are similar to ‘personal rules” for your life! Even if they are not embraced by most of society, you have no reason to apologize for them. Because when you do, you apologize for who you are at your core!
- When you are correcting someone else’s mistake
Why are YOU apologizing when you are bringing something to someone’s attention? It is their mistake, not yours! Sometimes you may feel like you are inconveniencing the other person, so therefore question if you should even correct it; and if you do, you apologize. However, you can be polite by bringing it their attention, letting them know you realize it was an honest mistake, and asking that it be corrected.
People commonly apologize for crying, because crying changes the entire feel of an environment, because it is such a heavy and strong emotion. However, not apologizing for your crying shows that you own that emotion, and it does not make it any less sincere.
- When you need help
As long as you are taking responsibility for yourself and asking for help with authenticity, you do not need to apologize for asking. Asking for help signifies confidence and strength. Simply be polite and ask someone if they can help you when it is convenient for them to do so. Simply ask, “When you have a moment, can you help me with something?”
Do you have other things that you have learned that you do not need to apologize for? If so, share them in the comments!