Why Introverts Hate Small Talk

There is one thing that introverts have in common. They hate small talk. Small talk has its merits and is a necessity in starting conversations with people; however, here are five reasons why introverts don’t like it:

  1. Small talk is usually happening with people who the introvert does not know or does not know well. Rather than communicating with people who they feel comfortable with, they are communicating with people who they don’t know well, or complete strangers they may never have a closer relationship with. Therefore, introverts are forced to communicate with people outside of their comfort zone, which they do not enjoy in the first place.
  • Introverts are not naturally good at small talk. Extroverts can talk to anyone with ease. Introverts, however, like to think about what they are going to say, and they don’t get that luxury with small talk. Think about it. We like the things in life we are naturally good at rather than things that we have to work at. Introverts have a natural skill in having deep conversations with people they feel comfortable with. They are not skilled at having impromptu, surface level conversations.
  • Introverts think small talk serves no purpose. Introverts are deep thinkers, so chatter about the weather and traffic are uninteresting to them. Even though small talk does have a purpose in that it warms up the person to deeper conversation, by itself it seems like a waste of time. Here are two questions that you can ask to get past small talk to a deeper level of conversation: https://www.griffdevelopment.com/2021/04/06/ask-these-two-questions-to-get-past-small-talk/
  • Small talk seems somewhat fake. The introvert hates to pretend to be interested in things that that they are not interested in. And while pretending to be interested, the introvert has to pretend to be positive and upbeat about it. Therefore, it seems
  • Small talk depletes introverts’ energy. Introverts get their energy internally. When they are exposed to external people, events, and stimuli, they are giving away their energy. Therefore, they are giving away their energy towards something they dislike in the first place!

Do not discount introverts simply because they do not engage in small talk. Once you get to know them, you may find that you have lots in common, and that they are great conversationalists and listeners after they feel more comfortable with you.

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