Do you ever feel like other people can tell when you’re nervous? Like your stress, anxiety, or lack of confidence is written all over your face?

If so, I’ve got some great news for you. What you’re experiencing is a common psychological phenomenon known as the illusion of transparency—and understanding it might just set you free.

Let’s dive into what it is, why it matters, and how you can use this insight to boost your confidence and communicate more clearly.

What Is the Illusion of Transparency?

The illusion of transparency is a cognitive bias that leads us to overestimate how much others can perceive our internal emotional states. In other words, we think people can see what we’re feeling—nervousness, stress, frustration, insecurity—more than they actually can.

You may be giving a speech, performing on stage, or walking into a high-stakes meeting, and on top of feeling anxious, you’re also worried that everyone around you can see how nervous you are. That added layer of self-consciousness makes the anxiety even worse. It becomes a downward spiral.

But here’s the truth: people can’t read you as well as you think they can. And that’s incredibly liberating.

The Science Behind It

In 2003, psychologists Kenneth Savitsky and Thomas Gilovich conducted a study to explore the illusion of transparency in action.

They asked participants to give an impromptu speech in front of an audience, then rate how nervous they believed they appeared. The results?

The participants believed they looked far more nervous than the audience perceived them to be.

To take it further, the researchers informed a second group of participants before their speeches about the illusion of transparency. They told them that their nervousness wouldn’t be as obvious to the audience as they might believe.

The outcome was remarkable:

• This group felt significantly less nervous.
• The audience also rated them as more composed and confident.

Simply knowing about the illusion helped them perform better and feel better. That’s the power of awareness.

So, What Does This Mean for You?

There are two powerful takeaways:

1. If You’re Feeling Nervous or Insecure

Take comfort in this fact: people can’t tell nearly as much as you think.

Whether you’re giving a speech, going on a date, or attending a job interview, your internal storm isn’t as visible on the outside. Reminding yourself of this can help calm the anxiety and allow you to focus on what really matters—showing up and doing your best.

2. If You Want People to Know How You Feel

The illusion works both ways. Just like people can’t tell when you’re nervous, they also can’t always tell when you’re happy, appreciative, or even upset.

• If you’re frustrated with someone, they may have no idea. Rather than expecting them to pick up on your energy or behavior, be direct and communicate.
• If you care about someone, appreciate their support, or admire their work—say it out loud. You can’t rely on them to “just know.” They probably don’t.

Final Thought: Use Your Voice

The bottom line? You’re more private than you think—and that’s both a relief and a responsibility. If you want to hide something like anxiety, chances are you’re doing better than you realize. And if you want others to know what you’re thinking or feeling—say it.

So next time your inner critic is yelling, “Everyone can tell I’m a mess!”—remember: They really can’t. And now, you know why.