I’m going to talk about six things that confident people never do — and that you shouldn’t do either.
Now, if I’m the one filming this video and talking about what confident people never do, then the question is: do I never do these things?
Actually, I’m guilty of doing some of them.
Here’s the deal — confidence is a moving target. Nobody is as confident as they appear. Some days you’ll feel more confident than others, and that’s completely normal. However, when you’re trying to build your confidence, make sure you never do these six things that can sabotage it.
1. Confident People Take the Initiative
Confident people don’t wait on others. They don’t wait for someone else to introduce themselves, start a conversation, or make the first move.
A confident person initiates. They don’t depend on others to take action first.
Do they sometimes fail or get rejected? Yes. But they’re the ones taking charge — and the more you initiate, the more confident you’ll feel, because you’re taking control of your life instead of waiting for someone else to do it for you.
2. Confident People Don’t Avoid Conflict
Confident people don’t shy away from conflict or difficult conversations. These situations aren’t enjoyable, even for confident people, but they understand that taking control is important.
If there’s tension or a problem to resolve, confident people initiate communication and handle it respectfully. They know that avoiding conflict only pushes the issue further down the road — and it rarely gets better on its own.
(I’ve got a separate video on how to be direct without being aggressive — check it out!
3. Confident People Don’t Discount Themselves
Confident people don’t undermine their own words with fillers like:
- “This might not be a good idea, but…”
- “I hate to bother you, but…”
- “Sorry to bring this up, but…”
When you say things like that, you’re discounting yourself before you even start.
A confident person has self-respect. If they want to make a point, ask a question, or bring something up, they do it directly — without unnecessary apologies or self-doubt.
4. Confident People Don’t Fidget
Have you noticed that people who appear confident tend to be still? They don’t play with their hair, rub their face, or fidget with objects.
Confident people are calm and focused, whether they’re speaking or listening.
Fidgeting often signals nervousness or self-soothing behavior — a way of calming anxiety. When you fidget, you send the message that you’re uncomfortable or unsure.
5. Confident People Speak with Authority
When confident people speak, their tone reflects certainty.
At the end of a sentence, their voice goes down, not up. For example:
- Unconfident tone: “I think that’s a good idea?”
- Confident tone: “I think that’s a good idea.”
Notice the difference? One sounds like a question. The other sounds assured.
Your tone and delivery play a big role in how your confidence is perceived — so speak with clarity and authority.
6. Confident People Don’t People-Please
Avoiding people-pleasing doesn’t mean being rude or unkind. Confident people can still be generous, helpful, and caring — but they act out of choice, not guilt.
When you’re people-pleasing, you’re seeking approval. You’re trying to earn affirmation or acceptance because you don’t fully trust your own worth.
Confident people, on the other hand, act with self-respect. They help others because they want to, not because they feel they have to.
Final Thoughts
As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been guilty of all six of these things. Confidence isn’t something you “achieve” once and for all — it’s something you practice.
The first step is self-awareness. When you catch yourself doing any of these things, pause, reset, and choose to act with confidence.