I want to talk about something that may surprise you: how making certain mistakes can actually make you more likable.

If you’re a perfectionist like I am, this is especially good news.

Think about someone who is extremely good at what they do—highly skilled, knowledgeable, and competent. While we may admire people like this, they can also feel a bit intimidating. Sometimes they seem larger than life, almost flawless, as if they never make mistakes.

Ironically, when someone like this does make a small mistake, we often feel more connected to them. Suddenly, they don’t seem so perfect. They seem more human, more relatable, and more approachable. Those qualities—vulnerability, authenticity, and humility—are incredibly attractive.

The Psychology Behind It: The Pratfall Effect

This phenomenon is known as the Pratfall Effect, a psychological concept introduced by American psychologist Dr. Elliot Aronson in the 1960s. His research showed that when people who are already seen as competent make a simple, harmless mistake, others actually like them more.

In one well-known study, participants listened to a recording of a contestant answering very difficult questions. The contestant answered 92% of the questions correctly, clearly demonstrating competence. At the end of the recording, he spilled coffee on himself.

In a separate version of the experiment, the same contestant answered the questions just as accurately—but without spilling the coffee.

The result? The contestant who made the harmless mistake was rated as more likable.

Interestingly, Aronson conducted the same experiment with a contestant who answered the questions poorly and was not seen as competent. When that contestant spilled coffee, his likability decreased even further. This showed that competence matters. A mistake boosts likability only when the person is already respected or capable.

Harmless Mistakes vs. Harmful Mistakes

Not all mistakes increase likability. It’s important to understand the difference between a harmless mistake and a harmful one.

A harmless mistake might include:

• Spilling coffee or food
• Forgetting a word
• Saying something slightly awkward
• Making a small, non-damaging error

These mistakes don’t hurt anyone. They simply reveal that you’re human.

A harmful mistake, on the other hand, involves:

• Hurting another person
• Making a situation worse
• Refusing to take responsibility
• Making excuses or trying to cover up the mistake

These behaviors do not increase likability. In fact, they often have the opposite effect.

It’s also important not to fake mistakes in an attempt to seem more relatable. People will eventually see through that, and it can damage trust. Authenticity is key.

What This Means for You

If you’re highly competent at what you do, don’t feel like you have to be perfect all the time. Making a small, genuine mistake doesn’t make people respect you less—it often makes them connect with you more.

Freely acknowledge harmless mistakes. Admit when you’re embarrassed. Learn from it and move on. Doing so shows confidence, self-awareness, and authenticity—all of which make you more likable.

If you know someone who could benefit from hearing this message, I hope you’ll share it.